THETAYSHIAVIBE

Ceases to Amaze

Nine years ago last night I sprinted down the middle of a main street in Kirkland at 11:30 at night, barefoot. I was headed toward the bombs that some jerk was lighting off, illegal fireworks, that were traumatizing Jack.

 

He was terrified.

 

Inconsolable.

 

So was that guy by the time I got done with him….

 

Jack remained deeply anxious about the 4th thru last year. So I was shocked when he told me that he wanted to go to the public fireworks show last night.

 

When the fireworks started, he was thrilled. He videotaped the whole show.

 

While he videotaped,

 

I photographed him.

 

With tears in my eyes, I thought about how far we’d come from that night in Kirkland – even from last year…..

 

Jack’s bravery never ceases to amaze me…..

Lipstick & Deadlines – A Memoir

Beyond the Hollywood Sign

Confession

I should start with a confession.

When I left you at the end of Episode 2, I was moving to LA after making a quick decision. I might have looked impulsive. Reckless. I wasn’t.

The truth is, I’d been preparing for that move since I was nine years old.

I wasn’t the kid scribbling stories in a diary. I was the kid glued to the TV, watching every kind of movie I could get my hands on — old films, foreign films, black and white films, films with subtitles, films no one else my age cared about. Sunday afternoons were my church: me, the couch, and whatever classic was playing.

Somewhere in those hours, I realized something that changed everything: Stories don’t start with lights and cameras. They start with a writer.

That realization lodged itself under my skin and never left.

By the time I graduated high school, I wanted one thing: film school. I wanted to write movies. Stories bigger than myself. My parents wanted me to have something else: rent money and health insurance.

They weren’t wrong. They were practical. They were raising a daughter in the real world, not the one I kept disappearing into through movies, scene notes, and the way I chronicled life through pictures — framing moments like shots, storing memories like stills from a film I hadn’t written yet.

So I did the responsible thing — the thing that would eventually save me more times than I can count. I got my paralegal certificate. I landed a job at The Firm. And then, quietly, stubbornly, I enrolled at the Seattle Film Institute at night.

That’s the part I didn’t tell you.

The part that makes everything else make sense.

I wasn’t drifting.
I wasn’t lost.
I wasn’t running away from anything.
I was running toward something.

Years of studying screenwriting.
Years of indie filmmaking in Seattle.
Years of believing — quietly — that I was meant for something bigger.

When I went to the Hollywood Film Festival, it wasn’t to escape the IPO mania. It was because I loved film — the craft, the history, the magic of it.

And on the last morning of the festival, while sipping champagne with breakfast and looking out my suite window at the Hollywood sign glowing in the early light, I said out loud:

“I’m moving down here.”

It wasn’t a dream.
It wasn’t a fantasy.
It was a decision.

And that is where this chapter really begins.

Origins of Space-Sha

Before we go any further, I should explain something that makes the rest of this chapter make sense.

My nickname in high school was Space‑sha.

Not because I was dreamy or cosmic. Because I was a stoner — a functional stoner. Straight A’s. Honor roll. Newspaper staff. Responsible, reliable, and very high.

I didn’t give myself the nickname.
My classmates did.

And the way my parents found out still makes me laugh.

End of sophomore year, I brought home my yearbook — glossy pages, Sharpie signatures, the usual “HAGS!” chaos. My mom was flipping through it, proud of the little ad they’d bought, when she suddenly stopped.
She squinted.
Tilted the book.
Tilted it again.

Then, in that confused but trying to stay calm mom voice, she said: “Why is everyone writing Hey SPACE SHA?”

Before I could answer, my dad lowered his newspaper like a judge delivering a verdict. He didn’t look surprised — just resigned. And with that dry, disapproving, slightly amused tone, he said:

“I know why.”

That was it.
No lecture.
No grounding.
Just a criminal defense attorney realizing one of his clients lived in his house.

The nickname stuck. And honestly? It fit. Because even then — long before LA, long before the chaos — I was already living slightly above the ground. Not detached. Just tuned to a different frequency.

Spacesha wasn’t about being spaced out. It was about living a half step ahead of reality — already inside the story before it happened.

And that’s the girl who eventually moved to Los Angeles.

 

Spacesha Moves to LA


I didn’t drive to Los Angeles.
Of course I didn’t.

I flew — with a Siamese cat who had the lung capacity of a foghorn and the temperament of a disgruntled lounge singer.

China was talkative on a normal day.

Give him anti anxiety meds?
He got worse. He got drunk.

So there I was, boarding a flight to LAX with a chemically altered Siamese sounding like he’d just been cut off at a piano bar.

Every few minutes he’d let out this long, slurred, vowel heavy wail — the kind that made passengers look around like someone had smuggled a grown man onto the plane and forced him to ride coach.

I kept whispering, “China, please,” like I was negotiating with a belligerent uncle at Thanksgiving.

It wasn’t glamorous.

It wasn’t curated.

It wasn’t the LA arrival I had imagined.

And it was only the beginning.

Because while I was in the air with my drunk cat, Two Men and a Truck — the movers I’d hired to bring my entire life down from Seattle — had apparently decided to take the scenic route.

They were supposed to arrive in two days.

They arrived in nine.

Which meant my first week in Los Angeles was spent:

sleeping on the floor

eating takeout off a cardboard box
and spiraling about the fact that I had taped an ounce of weed inside my desk drawer before the movers left Seattle.

An ounce.

Not a cute little baggie.
Not a “just in case.”

A felony amount, taped inside a drawer like I was running a cartel out of Capitol Hill.

This was before weed was legal.

Before dispensaries.

Before “edibles” meant anything other than brownies made by someone’s cousin.

I bought that much because I didn’t know anyone in LA — well, except Mara, and she did all kinds of drugs, but didn’t smoke weed, which somehow made it worse.

So while my movers were off grid, I spent seven days in West Hollywood convinced they were either:

1. smoking my entire ounce,

2. selling it,

3. or being pulled over by highway patrol, who would open the desk drawer, find my taped stash, and come knocking on my door like:

“Ma’am, are you aware you’ve been running narcotics across state lines with Two Men and a Truck?”

And the worst part?

The part that still makes me laugh until I cry?

Imagining the phone call to my dad.

My dad — the criminal defense attorney.

The man who bailed out half of Grays Harbor County.

The man who took collect calls from jail at 2AM while making popcorn.

He wouldn’t have been mad about the weed.

He would’ve been mad about the sloppiness.

I can hear him now:

“Jesus Christ, Tayshia. If you’re going to transport contraband across state lines, at least don’t leave it taped in a goddamn desk like a Girl Scout.”

He’d be pacing, hand on his forehead, muttering:

“An ounce? An OUNCE? With movers? Who are these people? Did you get their names? Did you sign anything? Did you check the bill of lading? Christ almighty…”

Meanwhile I’d be sitting on the floor of my empty apartment like:

“Dad, I didn’t know anyone down here! I needed a supply!”

It was chaos.
Ridiculous.
Hysterical.

It was exactly how my LA era was meant to begin.

Not polished.
Not curated.
Not influencer ready.

Just me, a drunk Siamese, a missing moving truck, and a felony amount of weed taped inside a desk drawer.

Spacesha had arrived.

Jessica, the BMW That Tried to Kill Me

Once my furniture finally arrived — weed intact, miraculously — I did what any newly liberated, newly cashed out, newly transplanted young woman would do after an IPO windfall.

I bought a car.

Not a sensible car.

Not a reliable car.

No.


I bought Jessica — a darling white BMW convertible with tan leather seats and the personality of a beautiful sociopath.

She was Glamorous.
Everything I thought my new LA life should look like.

And she tried to kill me every chance she got.

Jessica broke down on the 405.
She overheated on Sunset.

 

But God, she was pretty.
And for that first summer in Los Angeles, that was enough.

Because I wasn’t working.
I wasn’t building a brand.
I was living my LA dream.

I spent my days at Santa Monica and Venice Beach — reading scripts, people watching, letting the sun bake off the Seattle gray. I’d drive Jessica up coast with the top down, music blasting, hair wild – like the opening shot of a movie I hadn’t written yet.

It was freedom.
Reckless.
Delicious.

And it lasted exactly as long as my money did.

Because eventually — sometime around early fall — I looked at my bank account and realized that the IPO glow had worn off, the cash cushion was thinning, and Jessica’s repair bills were starting to look like ransom notes.

It was time to get a J-O-B. And that’s when the LA fantasy ended — and the LA reality began.

The Responsible Era (Sort Of)

I landed the job at Oakmont Investments — nylons, heels, thick carpet, institutional money — I knew two things for sure:

I had stepped right back into a version of law that felt polished, rigid, and quietly numbing.

And, Jessica had to go too.

As glamorous as she was, my darling white BMW convertible had tried to kill me every chance she got. She was beautiful, but she was chaos. And chaos was expensive.

So I did the adult thing. The responsible thing. The thing that signaled, at least on the surface, that I was re entering normal society.

I traded Jessica in and bought a brand new VW Jetta.

A sensible car.
A reliable car.
A car that said, “I have a job with benefits and I show up on time.”

It was the end of the LA fantasy era — the beaches, the convertible, the sun bleached days where time didn’t matter and responsibility felt like something other people had to worry about.

The Jetta was my return to earth. But here’s the part no one saw:

While I was putting on nylons and managing institutional investments by day, I was also doing the thing I had moved to Los Angeles to do in the first place.

I enrolled in graduate level screenwriting classes at UCLA.
Night classes.
Long nights.
Stacks of scripts.
Workshops where everyone was hungry and half delusional and convinced they were sitting on the next great American screenplay.

And for the first time since arriving in LA, I felt aligned.

The Jetta got me to work.
UCLA got me to myself.

During the day, I was a paralegal in a marble floored office, navigating portfolios and investment structures and very serious men in very serious suits.

At night, I was exactly who I had always been — the girl who watched old movies like scripture, the girl who believed stories were sacred, the girl who whispered “I’m moving down here” to the Hollywood sign and meant it.

It looked like responsibility. It was actually commitment. I wasn’t abandoning the dream. I was building the foundation for it. And for a moment — a brief, shimmering moment — it felt like everything was finally lining up.

I Spy a Celebrity

My girlfriends had a game we played — I Spy a Celebrity. They were pros. They could spot someone famous from fifty yards away, sunglasses on, at night, in a crowd, while drunk.

Me?
I was hopeless.
I never recognized anyone.
Ever.

People always looked “familiar” to me, but out of context? Forget it. My brain refused to connect the dots.

One Friday night, around 11:30 p.m., we’d been bar hopping up and down The Strip and ended up at this tiny Chinese restaurant that was absolutely hoppin’ — packed, loud, chaotic, tables practically stacked on top of each other. The kind of place where you could smell the food, the perfume, and the nightlife all at once.

We squeezed into a tiny table, practically elbow to elbow with the people next to us.

And that’s when I saw him. The guy sitting two feet away from me looked so familiar. I stared. He noticed. He smiled — that polite, “yes, you know me from somewhere” smile famous people give when they’re used to being recognized.

What he didn’t know was that I was a weirdo.

I leaned in — way too close — and said:

“You look familiar… did I go to high school with you?”

He laughed. A real laugh.

Warm. Sweet. Surprised.

“No,” he said, still smiling. “I don’t think so. My name is Eddie. Eddie Van Halen.”

Yes, THE Eddie Van Halen. Who, was like 15 years older than me. So no, I did not go to high school with Eddie Van Halen.

Speechless

It was a Saturday afternoon in West Hollywood, the kind of day when the sun hits the pavement just right and the whole city feels like it’s humming. I’d lost track of time at the gym — typical — and suddenly realized I was hosting Happy Hour in a few hours. Happy Hour at my place was always an event. My apartment sat one block off Sunset, tucked behind the House of Blues, and my friends and I would start there before heading up onto The Strip. Normally I shopped at Rock & Roll Ralph’s on Sunset — because that’s where all the famous people bought their groceries. We called it ‘Rock & Roll’ Ralph’s because sometimes we’d go at 2 A.M. just to people watch because that was a typical time for spotting ‘rock stars’ grocery shopping.

But I was running late.

So, I swung into the smaller grocery store on Santa Monica Blvd instead. The parking lot was full. My fatal flaw — no patience — kicked in immediately.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Finally a spotted an open parking spot. I zipped in, cutting off a pretty boy in a convertible. He flipped me off. I didn’t care.

Inside, the store was packed. I grabbed a cart and went into mission mode: wine, chocolate, cheeses, crackers, meats, nuts, fruit. Calls from my girlfriends started rolling in — all wanting to know what I was wearing that night — but fashion had to wait.

I realized I’d forgotten the crackers and headed toward the back, weaving through slow moving shoppers. Aisle 14A. Crackers.

Finally.

I pulled up next to a very old, sweet looking woman. I smiled. She smiled. All was nice, nice.

As I scanned the shelves, I felt her watching me. Not in a creepy way — in a warm, curious way. I looked up. Her eyes were extraordinary: soulful, intelligent, worldly, with a flicker of mischief. She held onto her cart for balance, her posture delicate but dignified.

And then I saw it.
On her arm.
A faded tattoo.
Numbers.
I gasped.

My hand flew to my mouth. My eyes widened with shock and heartbreak. She saw my reaction and instinctively covered it with her other hand, as if she could hide it or erase it from our moment.

My eyes filled with tears. She noticed. She stepped closer. Then, with a quiet bravery that made my chest ache, she lifted her arm again and let me look. The numbers were blurred with time, almost illegible — but unmistakable.

Her number.
Her history.
Her survival.

We stood there in the middle of a crowded, noisy grocery store — carts clattering, babies crying, people talking — and everything around us went silent.

Tears rolled down my cheeks.
Her eyes welled.

She reached up and touched my face, her hand soft and trembling. It lasted seconds. It felt like a lifetime. Then she smiled — warm, knowing, gentle — and slowly walked away.

I watched her until she turned the corner and disappeared.

The noise of the store rushed back in all at once, but I felt numb. I’d read the books. Watched the documentaries. But this was the first time it had a face.

Happy Hour lost its appeal. I went home. My friends came over. I didn’t tell them. Not yet. I wanted to hold the moment close, to honor it. That night, I stayed in.

No Strip.
No bars.
No music drifting through my windows.

Just me, my thoughts, and the weight of a stranger’s story written on her skin. I will never hear, watch, or read anything about the Holocaust without thinking of that beautiful woman and the brief, powerful moment we shared that left me—

Speechless.

THE IM INCIDENT

It was a Friday — of course it was a Friday — and my Queen Anne roommate, Lisa, was flying down from Seattle for the weekend. I was supposed to leave early to pick her up at LAX. Easy. Simple. A normal human request. Except nothing was simple when it came to Brad.

Brad, the in house general counsel.
Brad, the bully.
Brad, who made all of us sit up straight like terrified schoolchildren the second he walked into the room.

So I did what any overworked, under appreciated paralegal would do: I IM’d my coworker to vent. I typed:

“I need to leave early to pick up my friend LAX. But Brad is such a JERK he probably won’t let me.”

And then — with the confidence of a woman who had no idea she was about to ruin her own life — I hit send.

Except I didn’t send it to my coworker.
I sent it directly to Brad.

The moment I realized what I’d done, my soul left my body. I stared at the screen like it might apologize. Or rewind time. Or burst into flames.

Instead, the typing dots appeared.
Brad: “Tayshia? Can you come in here.”

No exclamation point.
No question mark.
Just a period.
The punctuation equivalent of a guillotine.

I stood up, smoothed my skirt, and walked to his office like I was heading toward the electric chair.

He was sitting behind his desk, holding his coffee mug, smirking.

“You’re right,” he said. “I am a jerk. Go. Pick up your friend.”

He laughed.
I laughed.

We pretended it was fine.

And then — a few months later — I was laid off.

Not because of the IM.
Not officially.

But let’s be honest: the writing was on the wall second I hit send. And the truth?

I wanted out long before that moment.

I already knew I could do the job. I just didn’t want to be who I had to be to stay.

It wasn’t the first time I’d walked away from a life I wasn’t meant to keep. The childhood accident taught me that — how quickly everything can change, how necessary it is to choose yourself.

The job wasn’t feeding me.
LA wasn’t feeding me.
Only one thing was – UCLA.

So maybe I didn’t sabotage my life.

Maybe I just finally told the truth.

The Exit

I gave Vivian all of my furniture.

The couch, the bed, the dishes, the lamps — all of it stayed behind…

I packed up China and all my books — the only things that had ever truly felt like mine — and then I packed that Jetta like an Amazon logistics manager with a quota. Zero wasted space. Every inch filled. Books in the footwells, clothes rolled into tight cylinders, boxes stacked with Tetris level precision. If there had been a packing Olympics, I would’ve medaled.

And when I finally walked out of that apartment — the one behind the House of Blues, the one where I’d lived loud and messy and hopeful. I felt relief.

Pure, unfiltered relief.

I didn’t even make it out of West Hollywood before I did the next thing I needed to do.

I stopped at a tattoo parlor on the Sunset Strip.
The artist asked what I wanted. I said, “A butterfly.”
He asked why.
I said, “Freedom.”
He didn’t ask another question.

The needle buzzed, the ink sank into my skin, and I watched a new version of myself take shape — a version that wasn’t trying to keep up with LA, or impress LA, or survive LA. A version that was finally ready to leave.

Tattoo bandaged, car packed, cat secured, I pulled onto the freeway.

And then I did the most symbolic thing a woman can do when she’s done with a chapter of her life:

I hit I 5.
Northbound.

No looking back.
No second guessing.
No dramatic montage.

Just a woman, a cat, a Jetta, a butterfly tattoo, and the open road.

Flashback

It doesn’t happen as often anymore, but when it does, it hits me like a flashback — sudden, sharp, and powerful. One second I’m standing in the foyer waiting for Jack to come downstairs for our nightly drive, and the next I’m pulled straight back to when he was five.

Non verbal.

Frustrated.

Hurting himself because he had no other way to communicate the storm inside him.

Not fully potty trained.

Unable to do any self care.

And me — already preparing myself to be his caregiver forever.

Ready to do it.

Ready to be whatever he needed.

But, I was scared.

Then the present snapped back into focus.

I heard his bedroom door click shut.

The lights flip off.

His footsteps on the stairs — that teenage saunter that says, “I’m here, but I’m not rushing.”

And then he appeared.

Freshly showered.

Smelling like the Old Spice Swagger set I bought him for Christmas.

Hair brushed.

Clothes chosen on his own.

A young man who has fought for every skill, every milestone, every inch of independence.

I must’ve had a weird look on my face — because he leaned in close and whispered:

“Ready?”

But it wasn’t really “ready?”

It was, “Are you okay?”

And all I could muster up to say was:

“I’m ready. I’ll always be ready.”

Because I am.

For him.

For the journey.

For the moments that remind me how far we’ve traveled from that frustrated little boy and that scared mom who didn’t know what the future would look like.

He is strong & brave.

And I am strong & brave, because of him.

Some nights, the victories are loud.

Tonight, it was just a quiet foyer, a teenage boy who smells like Swagger, and a mother who realized — again — that miracles don’t always arrive in big moments.

Sometimes they walk down the stairs.

#Neurodiversity

Life in the Emerald City



Before Capitol Hill, I’d been living in another apartment — until China Blu got us kicked out. Well, he actually didn’t get us kicked out — he got us escorted out, which is somehow worse.

He was a lover, not a fighter, but he had opinions about the other cats in the building. And when China had opinions, he expressed them the way male Siamese cats do:

by fighting and then peeing on his enemies’ doors like he was tagging gang territory.

Management didn’t appreciate his artistic expression.

So we were asked to leave.

Which is how I ended up in the 1930s Capitol Hill building — me and China Blu, starting over together.

Capitol Hill was already part of my family mythology. I grew up hearing stories about the De Luxe — the bar my parents went to on “date night” when they didn’t have enough money for both a babysitter and dinner. My dad would hustle a pool game to pay for dinner — he’d put himself through law school playing pool, so it was a sure bet. That was the Seattle I was raised on: grit, charm, and the belief that a good hustle could buy you a night out. So moving up to Capitol Hill never felt foreign. It felt like stepping into a neighborhood I’d been trained for.

Capitol Hill was its own ecosystem back then — a place where the creatives, the misfits, the glam kids, and the people who believed deodorant was optional all coexisted.

My studio apartment was in a 1930s building with creaky floors, thin walls, and was only 500 square feet. But it was mine — my first place alone, my first skyline, my first sense of self outside the duplex era.

Capitol Hill was gritty, loud, and alive in a way that felt like oxygen.

It was the first time I felt like I was living in a city instead of orbiting one.

And the building itself?

It was a character — a gorgeous, crumbling 1930s relic that had clearly lived a life before any of us ever walked through its doors.

The halls always smelled like weed.

Not occasionally.

Not on weekends.

Always.

It was the unofficial scent of the building — a mix of skunk, incense, and old plaster that somehow felt comforting.

The stairwell was wide and open, three flights of polished wood and echoing footsteps. Along the walls were mounted, rounded chrome ashtrays — the kind you’d see in old Art Deco theaters or train stations. They looked like chrome fans, curved and elegant, relics from a time when people smoked indoors and nobody cared.

Sometimes I’d walk those stairs and wonder who built this place.

A Seattle timber baron?

A wealthy family with a view of the Sound?

A private residence turned boarding house turned apartment building?

Whatever it had been, it must have been stunning in its prime.

By the time I lived there, it was a beautiful, feral ecosystem of characters.

Across the hall lived an escort who worked nights and slept days.

Downstairs was Chet, the property manager — a man who liked me a little too much and expressed it in the most Capitol Hill way possible: unsolicited home improvement.

But before we get to Chet’s crimes, here’s the part that still makes me laugh:

For all the chaos in that building — the weed‑scented hallways, the escort across the hall, the filmmakers dragging my furniture into the hallway — my apartment was beautiful.

It was my first own place.

No roommate.

No boyfriend.

Just me.

And my mom — who could design a house from dirt and make it look like a magazine spread — insisted on furnishing it for me.

She bought me a matching cream leather loveseat and an overstuffed leather chair.

She gave me a big couch that pulled out into a bed.

For a young woman just starting out, my apartment looked like I had my life together.

Just ask Chet.

And while my apartment looked like a young professional’s dream, the rest of my life was pure twenty‑something chaos.

I dragged my poor father to every video store in Seattle so he could pay my late fees.

Every. Single. One.

He’d walk in behind me, wallet already out, muttering,

“I’m sensing a setup,”

while I pretended to be shocked — shocked — that I owed money again.

This was the same man who would later threaten to put a hit out on Chet for touching my Vanity Fair.

He adored me.

And he knew exactly who I was.

One day Chet offered to “fix a few things” in my apartment.

I thought he meant tightening a hinge or replacing a lightbulb.

Chet meant a full renovation.

He laid parquet flooring in the main room.

He white‑tiled the kitchen floor.

He blue‑tiled the countertops and backsplash.

He even installed glass doors on my cupboards.

My studio went from “quirky 1930s rental” to “Capitol Hill showpiece,” and I didn’t pay a dime.

Which, of course, is why he kept letting himself in during the day.

How did I know?

Because he’d move my magazines around.

And here’s the part that still makes my blood pressure spike:

Chet didn’t just sit on my leather loveseat eating whatever he brought from the gas station.

He touched my magazines. I’d had subscriptions to Vanity Fair and Vogue since I was a teenager.

I coveted them.

I saved them.

I stacked them like art books.

They were my early education in culture, fashion, storytelling, and the world beyond Seattle.

And that fucker Chet — laying on my couch, crumbs on his shirt, drink on my coaster — was flipping through them like they were junk mail.

My dad was ready to put a hit out on him.

Eventually, Chet got fired — because lord only knows what else he was doing in that building.

And that’s when the filmmakers moved in as the new property managers.

They were young, broke, wildly ambitious, and exactly the kind of people who would look at my apartment and say, “This would be perfect for a scene.”

And I was exactly the kind of person who said yes.

More than once, they moved every piece of furniture I owned — including China Blu — into the hallway so they could shoot in my unit. I’d come home to find my life lined up against the wall like a yard sale, and a camera crew inside capturing the view of the Space Needle.

It was chaotic.

It was unhinged.

It was creative.

And it was perfect.

THE DOT‑COM YEARS — THE CATALYST

After years of nylons, navy suits, and the unspoken dress‑code politics of law, tech felt like oxygen. No stockings. No heels. No silent rules about “professional polish.” Just the work, the adrenaline, and the sense that no one cared what you wore as long as you could keep the whole machine from catching fire.

Seattle was vibrating in those years — the tech boom, the IPO frenzy, the grunge scene still echoing through every bar in Pioneer Square. It felt like the whole city was plugged into a live wire, and somehow, I ended up right in the middle of it.

MerchantsCafé where Seattles nights hummed with ambition and questionable decisions. Merchants Café wasn’t just a bar — it was a mood, a backdrop, a character in my twenties. The neon, the brick, the slightly‑sticky floors, the way the night air in Pioneer Square always smelled like rain and cigarettes and possibility.

After years in law — trial prep, litigation war rooms, the whole thing — I pivoted into tech just as the city was exploding. I interviewed with the CEO of a startup in a Pioneer Square coffee shop, and he hired me on the spot. It was a hybrid legal/Executive Admin role, perfect for someone who could read a contract, manage a board meeting, and keep a dozen executives from setting themselves on fire.

The energy was electric. It felt like stepping into the future.

And then came the IPO.

I became the Executive Admin taking a company through the early stages of going public — the girl with a legal background who somehow became the glue holding the entire operation together. I wasn’t supposed to be the one holding the threads, but there I was: coordinating filings, wrangling executives, managing board calls, and keeping the whole machine from flying apart.

My partner in crime during that time was Kimberly.

Kimberly was the in‑house attorney. Together, we were the unofficial command center of the company — the two women everyone relied on but no one fully understood.

By day, we kept the IPO from collapsing under its own weight. By night, we were wild.

We’d stumble out of the office after a long, grueling day, adrenaline still buzzing, and head straight into the Seattle scene — the bars, the music, the chaos. We were young, exhausted, overworked, and absolutely determined to squeeze every drop of life out of the hours we weren’t chained to our desks.

And somewhere in the middle of all that pressure and possibility, I cashed out some stock — not because the IPO was done, but because I needed a break from the grind. A breath. A reset. A moment to figure out who I was becoming in a city that was reinventing itself every five minutes.

And that’s when everything changed.

THE HOLLYWOOD MOMENT

I booked myself a long weekend at the Hollywood Film Festival — a treat, a splurge, a moment of breathing room. I stayed at The Hollywood Roosevelt. My suite faced the Hollywood sign. It felt decadent, cinematic, like stepping into the life I’d been orbiting for years.

On my first night in town, I was waiting in the lobby for Mara. She had moved back home to LA, and it had been a few years since I’d seen her. And Mara was still — Mara. Late. Always late.

I didn’t mind. It gave me time to linger in the lobby of the glorious The Hollywood Roosevelt (originally named Hotel Roosevelt) and study all of her magnificent, timeworn beauty. She was a pretty old girl — built in 1926, opened in May of 1927 — and she wore her age like a story.

My stay was before the big glam makeover, but honestly, I preferred her just the way she was:

A little worn

A little haunted

A little glamorous in a dusty‑mirror way

Still carrying the bones of her 1920s glory

This was the Roosevelt of whispered stories, not curated experiences. The lobby glowed dim and amber… the edges softer, the carpets older, the energy more ghost of Hollywood past than Hollywood power brunch. I soaked it all in, fixated on the vibe of that moment in time.

As a kid, I devoured classic Hollywood movies.

As an adult, I collected oversized coffee‑table books filled with portraits of the stars of the 1920s and ’30s. I loved the glam, the art deco architecture, the drama of it all. The Roosevelt lobby felt like stepping into one of those books — the carved beams overhead, the wrought‑iron chandeliers dripping warm light, the circular velvet settees arranged like little stages for passing characters.

And beneath all of that beauty, I felt something else — the haunted hum the hotel had long been rumored to carry. A strange gift from my childhood accident is a sixth sense — a quiet knowing, a sensitivity to the unseen. I’ve had too many random, unexplainable encounters to dismiss it. And in this place? I felt it deep in my bones.

Sure enough, Mara finally came rushing in — out of breath, full of stories and laughter. We slid onto bar stools and immediately picked up where our friendship had left off in Seattle.

On my last morning, I ordered room service: breakfast and champagne. I stood at the window, watching the Hollywood sign glow in the early light, and I said out loud:

“I’m moving down here.”

It wasn’t a dream.

It wasn’t a fantasy.

It was a decision.

    VIVIAN — THE CO‑CONSPIRATOR

Back in Seattle, Vivian asked how the weekend went.

Vivian wasn’t just a friend — she was my counterpart.

While I was the Executive Admin and legal right hand inside the Seattle tech company, she was the Executive Admin for the venture capital firm in New York that funded us.

We were the two women on opposite coasts keeping the entire IPO machine running — scheduling board calls, coordinating filings, managing executives, and translating chaos into order. We talked every day, sometimes for hours, because our jobs were intertwined. We became fast friends long before we ever met in person.

When I told her I’d stood in front of the Hollywood sign and said, “I’m moving down here,” she didn’t hesitate.

She said she wanted to move back to California, she’d grown up in San Francisco.

And just like that, we decided to be roommates.

We booked a trip to LA to find an apartment.

She put her belongings on a moving truck in New York and flew west.

I flew down from Seattle.

We met at LAX — she was holding a sign with my name on it because we had never met in person. By Sunday, we had rented an apartment in West Hollywood.

Vivian moved in immediately.

I flew back to Seattle, packed up my life and China Blu, and headed south.

We ended up living right behind the House of Blues off the Sunset Strip — the perfect backdrop for the next chapter of my life.

END OF EPISODE 2 — THE LEAP

The girl from Two Union Square is gone.

The Capitol Hill girl is evolving.

The dot‑com girl is cashing out.

The writer is emerging.

The risk‑taker is steering.

The destiny is calling.

Defeated by a Dancing Raccoon

It’s Wednesday after a long weekend at a family reunion in Montana, and I am running on fumes and caffeine.

I’m tired.

I’m scrambling to catch up at work. Tomorrow is Jack’s last day of school before summer break.

My only goal today was to be invisible — heads down, get things done, no sudden movements.

And honestly? I needed a reset. My eating was a disaster all weekend: one giant celebratory meal a day with family… or peanuts and a Diet Coke for dinner… or nothing at all except a double Bloody Mary at the airport. I felt gross. Today was supposed to be the day I got myself back on track.

That, and run errands. Just errands. Mundane, boring, adult errands:

Drop Angus at doggy daycare
ULTA for one thing I absolutely did not need
Trader Joe’s for healthy snacks I absolutely did need
Haggen for the rest of the “I’ll deal with it later” grocery list

Leggings. Hoodie. Zero makeup — except Lipstick, with a capital L. Mood: Do Not Perceive Me.

But apparently the universe said, “Actually… we will be perceiving you today.” Because instead of blending into the wallpaper like I intended, I accidentally chose a shirt that turned me into a walking conversation starter.

A raccoon shirt. Yes. A raccoon. Mid‑twirl. Full attitude. Looking like it’s auditioning for Dancing With the Trash Can Stars.

And somehow — SOMEHOW — this shirt got compliments from men AND women at every stop.

Doggy daycare? Compliment.
ULTA? Compliment.
Trader Joe’s? Compliment.
Haggen? Compliment.

I was just trying to buy hummus and conditioner, and suddenly I’m the day’s main character. Who knew raccoons were magnetic?

So I came home, stared at my unmade bed, put the hoodie back on, and ate Tillamook Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream for dinner. Straight from the carton. Because at that point… why not.

Life Comes at You Fast ✌️

Sometimes in Montana.

Sometimes in leggings.

Sometimes in the form of a dancing raccoon who refuses to let you hide.

Grit, Glamour & the Making of a Career


I grew up privileged with educated parents. My mom was an avid reader — books were always piled up on end tables, nightstands, kitchen counters. My dad was a newspaper guy, the kind who always had a crumpled‑up paper shoved into the inside pocket of his suit jacket, ink smudged on his fingers, headlines on his mind.

 

But my version of privilege came with a twist. Law wasn’t an abstract concept in our house; it was the family business. My dad was a sole‑practitioner criminal defense attorney, the kind who never really clocked out.

 

I knew “trial prep” the way other kids knew soccer practice. Trial notebooks. Exhibits. Police reports. Witness statements. Whiteboards covered in timelines and theories. Crime scene photos. Autopsy reports. Before any one of Dad’s big trials, our dining room transformed into the war room — stacks of files, legal pads, and half‑drunk cups of coffee everywhere.

 

That was normal to me.
Consequences were normal.
High stakes were normal.

 

And underneath all of that, there was the other truth — the one my family never said out loud but always lived by. In my entire extended family, there was “before Tayshia’s accident, and after.”

 

I was three when I got hit by a car, and it became an international incident. My aunts in Canada jumped into action, handling everything while my parents stayed at the hospital for what felt like forever. I had a broken neck and brain swelling so severe they had to drill a hole in my skull to relieve the pressure — which is why, to this day, I’ve never been able to part my hair down the middle. A lifelong styling limitation courtesy of 1970s neurosurgery.

 

I wasn’t supposed to live through the night, let alone grow up to be “normal” again. Traumatic brain injuries are strange like that. My parents never mentioned it, but they must have been thinking ahead — wondering what it would mean to raise a child with a disability. And here’s the part that has stayed with me my entire life: by every medical expectation, I should have had significant brain damage. But I didn’t. The only lasting effect is a funky right eye — the wiring went sideways from the impact, but it’s manageable. It doesn’t register as a disability. It never defined me. And that miracle — that narrow escape — has always lived quietly in the background of who I became.

 

I was in the hospital for weeks — five, six, maybe more. I couldn’t tell you exactly; I was three and in a coma. Time was a little abstract for me back then.

 

Growing up, I’d overhear my mom and my aunts whispering about it in the kitchen, their voices low and careful, like the story might break if they spoke too loudly. My mom would wake up from nightmares years later. I always knew the accident had cast a long shadow, even if I didn’t fully understand it. As an adult, I don’t talk about it much. It’s a quiet truth I carry, not a headline I lead with.

 

But the accident rewired me. It sharpened my instincts, made me fearless in ways I wouldn’t understand until much later, and gave me a sixth sense I learned to trust long before I had the language for it. It shaped how I saw the world: clearly, quickly, strategically.

 

But like my mom, I was a glamour girl at heart. I liked pretty things. I was passionate about lipstick. I could build a trial notebook, but I also knew the exact shade that made me feel like I could walk into any room and own it.

 

When I was nineteen, I adopted my first cat, China Blu. He was a blue‑eyed Siamese — loud, dramatic, possessive, and smarter than most of the men I dated in my twenties. I was too young to know what I was doing but old enough to want something that was mine. China moved with me through every early apartment, every questionable life choice, every reinvention. He was the first creature I ever took care of on my own, long before I understood what responsibility really meant.

 

When it came time to choose a career, I stuck with what I knew — law — and got my paralegal certificate. Only I wanted the polished version. The upscale version. The fancy version. I wanted marble floors and skyline views. I wanted Two Union Square.

 

Two Union Square, 1990s Seattle

 

I didn’t start my career in a courtroom. I started in the engine room of one of the oldest, most respected law firms in the Pacific Northwest — a firm built on maritime law long before I was born. The kind of place corporations hired when the stakes were catastrophic and the headlines were national.

The Firm wasn’t just a workplace — it was an institution.

 

A century‑old, marble‑and‑glass monument to Seattle’s legal elite. In the early 1990s, downtown law firms were still very much old‑guard territory: hierarchical, male‑dominated, and powered by traditions that had been running uninterrupted since the 1950s.

 

Nationally, women made up less than 15% of partners in major firms — and in legacy firms like ours, the number was often closer to five percent. Leadership floors were filled almost entirely with men who had been in charge since the Reagan era. The message wasn’t spoken, but it was understood: Blend in. Don’t distract. Don’t outshine.

 

And then there was me.

 

Since high school, I’d been famous for my lipstick — unapologetically bold, unapologetically red, and applied with the confidence of someone who treated a drugstore cosmetics aisle like a personal runway. I loved hair. I loved glam. I loved being feminine.

 

Which made this world… complicated.

 

The unofficial dress code for women was: Navy suit. Neutral lip. Try not to look like you enjoy color.

 

Femininity wasn’t celebrated; it was treated like a liability. Something to be softened, muted, tucked neatly behind a blazer with huge shoulder pads, which never made sense to me. Why would I want to look like a linebacker?

 

So there I was, twenty‑three years old, walking into Two Union Square with a red lips bright enough to qualify as maritime safety equipment. I wasn’t trying to make a statement — I was just being me.

 

Even with my paralegal certificate, my first title was document clerk — operational, back‑of‑house, the girl in the war room. I swear, I touched every piece of paper before it ever saw a courtroom. I learned the case from the inside out long before I understood the politics around it.

 

I didn’t know it then, but those long days in the engine room were shaping instincts I would rely on for the rest of my career. Inside those walls, everything was sharp: the expectations, the hierarchy, the pace. The Firm was known for aggressive litigation, high‑stakes corporate clients, and a culture where you learned quickly or you didn’t last. It was the beginning of everything I thought I understood about this profession — and the beginning of realizing how much I didn’t.

 

The Culture

 

The Firm had rules — spoken, unspoken, and enforced with the kind of quiet ferocity usually reserved for cults and ballet companies. Everything mattered: how you dressed, how you walked, how you answered the phone, how long you lingered at the copier. Hierarchy wasn’t just structure — it was oxygen.

 

There was Joan, the office manager, who treated the dress code like federal law. She’d call me down to her office to check if I was wearing nylons, and if I wasn’t, she’d send me to Nordstrom like a naughty child being marched to a time‑out. She had me in her sights because I hated nylons. I was defiant; she was relentless. It was a cat‑and‑mouse game we played the entire time I worked there.

 

Then there was Nora, the paralegal I reported to — a woman who monitored my movements like she was running a minimum‑security prison. If she didn’t know exactly where I was, she’d have me paged over the loudspeaker. Nothing says “professional environment” like hearing your name echo through a marble lobby because you dared to chat by the water cooler for three minutes without filing a formal itinerary.

 

And the partners?

 

They floated through the hallways like minor royalty — all cufflinks, confidence, and secrets. The Firm was a breeding ground for affairs. Everyone knew it. Everyone pretended not to. The Christmas parties were legendary — the kind of events we were still gossiping about in April. People releasing their dignity at coat check. Someone crying in the bathroom. Someone leaving The Firm unexpectedly.

 

I was twenty‑three, but I already knew how to read a room.
And this room?
This room had secrets.

 

It was a world where appearance mattered more than reality. Where hierarchy was the currency. Where young women learned quickly how to shrink, smooth, and smile.

 

I didn’t shrink.

 

But I learned the choreography. And quietly, I was taking notes.

 

The Subculture

 

Beneath all that marble and hierarchy, there was another world — the one I actually belonged to. The subculture. The under‑30s. The engine‑room kids. The document clerks, legal coders, mailroom runners, file clerks, copy‑room escape artists — the ones who kept the place running while the grown‑ups pretended the building ran on prestige alone.

 

We were our own ecosystem.

 

We’d sneak into phone rooms to hang-out or take naps — tiny, windowless closets with big landline phones and terrible lighting, but they were private, and that was enough. We’d take long lunches downtown, wandering through Westlake like we were on break from a summer job instead of working inside one of the most powerful law firms in the Pacific Northwest.

 

Happy hours were our religion. We’d spill out of Two Union Square at 5:01 p.m. like inmates on work release, heading straight to whatever bar had the best free appetizers. We were broke, young, and convinced we were invincible.

 

Mostly, we hid from the grown‑ups.

Not literally — though sometimes, yes, literally — but emotionally. We lived in the cracks of the institution, in the spaces between the rules, in the whispered jokes by the copier and the shared eye rolls when a partner walked by with a stack of files and a crisis.

 

We were club kids on the weekends, but kept that reputation under wraps.

And honestly?

It was the best part of the whole place.

 

The First Friendships

 

Inside that subculture — the engine‑room tribe — that’s where I found my first real Seattle friendship.

 

Lisa.

 

We worked together all day, shared an office, orbited the same case, the same chaos, the same unspoken rules. We were young, overwhelmed, and pretending to be far more grown‑up than we actually were.

 

At the time, I was living with my boyfriend, and the relationship was unraveling in slow motion. I was quickly outgrowing him, my life changing with every morning bus ride into the city.

 

China tolerated him, but only in the way a cat tolerates a man who hasn’t earned his respect. He’d sit on the back of the couch and stare at him like he was waiting for him to leave — which, eventually, he did.

 

Lisa and I bonded quickly — the kind of friendship that forms when you’re both treading water in the deep end and pretending you’re fine. When my relationship finally collapsed, she was the one who said,

 

“Let’s get a place together.”

 

And just like that, we did.

 

The Queen Anne Duplex

 

Our apartment was a Queen Anne duplex — the kind of place that felt alive even when nothing was happening. We lived downstairs; two guys lived upstairs. Mark, the aspiring actor juggling a job and auditions. And Ben, the economics major who could turn any conversation into a debate.

 

We were all young.

We were all broke.

We were all trying to become something.

 

We closed down bars on Queen Anne and walked home together — drunk, loud, laughing, alive. The kind of nights that only happen when you’re twenty‑something and the world hasn’t yet told you who you’re supposed to be.

 

China ruled that duplex courtyard like a samurai, keeping it safe for his young mom.

It was a fun time.

 

And like all fun times, it didn’t last long.

 

The Parallel Life

 

While the Queen Anne life was unfolding — the late nights, the cheap wine, the upstairs‑downstairs chaos — another life was happening too. A parallel life. A creative life. And it was happening inside the same skyscraper where I spent my days.

 

Joe, the filmmaker disguised as a legal assistant, always had a camera hidden under case files.

 

Mara, the wild LA girl with a women’s studies degree and a laugh that carried down the hallway.

 

We were a creative tribe trapped inside a corporate machine — writers, filmmakers, thinkers, misfits — all assigned to the same massive case, all living double lives.

 

By day, we were part of the litigation engine.

By night, we were something else entirely.

 

The Cloud Room.

The Pink Door.

Pioneer Square bars.

 

Conversations that felt like scenes from a documentary we didn’t know we were making. I didn’t realize it then, but I was already drifting toward Los Angeles — a glam Seattle grunge girl with a camera‑ready imagination, inching toward the Hollywood sign without knowing why.

 

I was building a career by day and a creative life by night — and I wasn’t willing to choose.

 

Both were shaping me.

Both were pulling me forward.

Both were becoming the early blueprint of The Tayshia Vibe.

 

The Ending of the Duplex Era

 

Eventually, life shifted — the way it always does when you’re young and everything is temporary.

 

Lisa left the firm.

Mark moved to New York.

Ben drifted into a new crowd.

The duplex dissolved as quickly as it had formed.

 

China was already showing signs of the chaos he would later unleash — the attitude, the territorial swagger, the “I will pee on your door if you cross me” energy. I should’ve known then that he’d eventually get us evicted from an entire building.

 

It was foreshadowing. I just didn’t know it yet.

 

And suddenly, I was standing at the edge of a new chapter — alone, but ready. I didn’t know it then, but I was already becoming the woman who would build a career, move to LA, and eventually create The Tayshia Vibe.

 

But back then? I was just trying to keep my nylons from running.

 

::Fade to black::

 

Captain Jack and the Rope

We were out on a long dock when Jack spotted a guy by himself on a big patio boat. Without warning, Jack took off down the dock with purpose. I wasn’t sure what he was doing as I hurried behind him, but he clearly had a mission.

The guy pulled up next to the dock, and before I could catch up, Jack yelled,

“Throw me a rope!”

The man blinked, startled.

“Really, dude? You want to help?”

I’m not going to lie — the guy had an intimidating look. Tough, street‑hardened — he gave me pause. Not just as a mom, but as a woman.

Jack, however, saw none of that. He saw someone who needed help.

He caught the rope cleanly, and the man started giving him instructions. It all happened so fast — a couple of pulls, a loop, a tie — and suddenly the boat was secured. We were already walking away when I heard the man yelling behind us, running down the dock.

“Wait! Wait! Thank you so much for helping me — I really appreciate it!”

He had rummaged around his boat and came back holding out a captain’s hat, like it was treasure.

This world feels so ugly at times that I cherish moments like this. Jack didn’t see a stereotype. He didn’t see danger. He saw a guy who needed help parking his boat — so he tracked him, prepared himself, and stepped in.

The man was genuinely grateful. Jack was genuinely proud.

And I was reminded — again — don’t judge a book by its cover.

How do you handle fear and self-doubt.

I don’t run into fear and self‑doubt very often anymore — not because I’m fearless, but because life has already handed me bigger things to survive.

When fear shows up, I usually just keep moving. I’ve learned that action quiets the noise faster than overthinking ever will.

And self‑doubt? I treat it like background static. I hear it, but I don’t let it steer. I’ve rebuilt myself enough times to trust that I can figure things out as I go.

I’m not fearless. I’m just practiced.

Daily writing prompt
How do you handle fear and self-doubt?

Teeth Marks in the Butter

Night time falls upon us

Me and my fury little pet

I cart her off to bed with me

I get very little fret

We cuddle-up and go to sleep

Hazel Louise is sweet as sugar

It’s later in the night

She turns into a booger

She stirs herself awake

Maybe she had a scratch

She saunters into the kitchen

to do a little lickin’

Black hairs upon the counter

Point to her demise

To leave that kind of evidence

Surely was unwise

Grammy would completely shudder

She would not think it fine

She would be furious to find

Teeth Marks in the Butter

Did You Do Anything Special?

Every morning when I walk into work, my office mate greets me with the same bright, chipper questions: “Good morning! Did you have a good night? Do anything special.”

I always smile, because how do you explain that “special” in my world is… layered? I’m a sole parent to a seven‑year‑old neurodiverse boy, Jack — brilliant, brave, high‑functioning in many ways, and still needing support in areas that most boys his age have long outgrown. Our life isn’t tragic. It’s just different. And different comes with its own brand of exhaustion, joy, and ::eye roll:: moments.

Last night, the sun finally came out after months of Seattle gloom, which meant one thing: Jack would want the park. My mom lives with us — a blessing I will never stop being grateful for — and the smell of her cooking hit me the second I walked through the door. Before I could even take a breath, I heard a little voice from upstairs call, “Grass Lawn Park?”

Upstairs, Jack was working on his sticker art on my bedroom wall — his newest obsession. Yes, my bedroom wall. Yes, I’ve surrendered. Yes, ::eye roll::. Even though it was 6 PM and I was starving, I changed clothes and off we went.

At the park, I stood there freezing, holding my phone up with pictures of Dory, Curious George, Ellie from Ice Age — whichever character Jack chose to “play with” that day. And yes, he’s seven. Some kids his age are climbing the highest structure or forming little soccer teams; Jack still finds comfort in characters and rituals that anchor him. Kids stare. Adults stare. I shrug. This is our normal.

Leaving the park is always the battle I brace for. Transitions are hard for Jack — screaming, hitting, the occasional curse word he absolutely did not learn from me. And of course, we had to drive past Dairy Queen, which meant the entire ride home was a meltdown soundtrack. By the time we pulled into the driveway, my nerves were shot.

Jack didn’t want to go inside. He wanted to “drive” the car — something he’s loved to do for years. So, I went into the house and grabbed a large glass of wine, climbed into the passenger seat, and let him take us on a “road trip”. When he looked at me with that proud little smile and said, “I’ll be your driver today!” my whole heart softened. Parenting him means living in this constant swing between overwhelm and awe.

Later, during his shower — a whole production involving my iPhone, books, and the iPad all positioned just right — I stepped away for a moment. When I came back, water was everywhere. Everywhere. I sat down on the bathroom floor in defeat, staring at the flood like, “Of course. Why not. Sure.” But then I realized he had washed his own hair. A milestone we’d been working toward for ages. “Mommy happy? Jack washed hair!” Yes. Mommy was very happy. Mommy was also very wet. But mostly, proud.

Every night, I remake my entire bed from scratch because he strips it down to the mattress. It’s part of his daily routine, hence remaking it is part of mine. It’s one of the many ways our life is different. Not worse. Not tragic. Just different. And different can be exhausting.

By 9:30 PM, we were gearing up for the last daily battle of the day — bedtime. Jack has his own room, but he’d migrated back into mine. Neurodivergent kids do that sometimes; they return to the place that feels safest, even if the rest of the world thinks they should’ve “grown out it” by then. I tried the whole “big boys sleep in their own rooms” speech, but he wasn’t having any of it. And honestly? I didn’t have the energy for a full‑scale bedtime war. So yes, another night where he starfished across the middle of my bed while I clung to the edge with a corner of a blanket.

Eventually he fell asleep, and I lay awake — as I do every night — letting the quiet fill with questions:

Am I doing enough.

Is he getting what he needs.

Can I be more, do more, love more.

And then morning came. A new day. A new fight. A new chance. Jack snuggled into me, warm and soft, and I kissed his hands and breathed him in. I am an Autism Warrior Mom. I get up. I keep going.

So when I walked into work today and heard, “Did you do anything special?” I just smiled. Because there’s no way to explain all the tiny battles, tiny victories, ::eye roll:: moments, and tiny miracles that happen between 6 PM and sunrise.